YOU READ IT CORRECTLY; I LOST MY BEST FRIEND
Have you ever been with someone for such a long time that they have become a part of you? The one person you knew that you could lean on, share good times with, have a special bond with. Then in a matter of seconds – everything has changed. A bomb has just exploded inside of your chest shattering your heart into a million pieces. The one you thought was your “person” breaks off the relationship and you are left feeling empty. Everything you had shared together are just memories with no room to create new ones.
Let’s make this short and sweet… Adam and I were together for 4.5 years; we even bought a house together this year. I thought it was meant to be and that we’d check off our next life goal together — one we had from day 1. Well unbeknown to me I was wrong. The point of this post isn’t to talk badly about Adam or our relationship that we had together. I don’t regret anything that has happened. It’s actually given me strength that I didn’t even think I had.
So, if you’re reading this Adam, thank you! The past 4 years have been amazing but more so thanks for making me struggle. Our time together you have always been my inspiration and my motivator pushing me to better myself. Now that we aren’t together you’re still pushing me so thank you!
My intent of this post is to help someone in the world who’s going through the same issue. Even if it’s just one person that I can help, I will be happy. This is all pretty new to me. I have only been in one other serious relationship and with that being said this past month I have learned a lot.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED:
1). Find Yourself!
Being with someone for such a long time the two of you become a unit. You no longer know what it’s like to be alone. So step one is to find yourself again. Learning to be alone again and to be okay with it.
It’s okay to feel lonely, even if it doesn’t feel like you want to be alone. Being alone is where you can grow as an individual.
In the words of Leslie Knope, you have to date yourself. Take yourself on dates! So, date yourself until you are ready to commit to another person. It may take a while but if that’s what it takes then so be it. After being in a relationship with someone else you put all of your time and energy into them. Now, it’s time to build that relationship with yourself again. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. Also, don’t jump into another relationship because you need to mend your broken heart. Just be happy and most of all LOVE YOURSELF!
2). Lean On Your Friends!
Along with learning to be alone, you should have a support system to back you up. Especially on the days where you’re feeling lonely your friends are there to lift you up. A break up is a huge life change that you don’t have to go through alone per se, hang out with friends that make you happy! You don’t necessarily have to talk about your ex but just being around friends who love and care about you is exactly what you need to mend the broken pieces.
3). Find A Hobby!
To keep your mind occupied during the times where your friends are busy or working; find a hobby! Anything to focus on and that you can put all of your energy into. It can be health, fitness, writing, drawing, hiking or just a random hobby you want to pursue. Focusing on something else will keep your mind off of your ex. You don’t want the break up to affect you in a negative way so staying positive and doing things that you love will help.
4). Set Goals!
Turn that hobby into a goal you want to accomplish! When you set goals either long term or short term it will also make you feel better in the end. You will be so busy trying to complete your goal that your ex will no longer be in your mind. Once you complete that goal you will not only feel accomplished but it’ll give you confidence that you can do something if you set your mind to it.
5). Don’t Regret!
When you are grieving the loss of your best friend, it’s easy to hate or regret everything that you had with this person. Like I mentioned above, I don’t regret anything that we had because at one point in my life it’s everything that I have ever wanted. Don’t be upset that the relationship is over be happy that you were able to be with the person. Take this as a learning experience and something that you can grow from.
These are my 5 tips I have learned and that I hope to inspire someone else who is dealing with a break up. Breaking up with someone isn’t easy in anyway, typically one party is not ready for the break. In which case that was me but I want to tell you that it’s okay to be upset; you have to get back up and continue on with life. Remember that the pieces of your heart will not mend over night, healing takes time and with that being said don’t give up on yourself!
Keep smiling, because smiling is the first step to fixing things!